Finding Tears
by Never Tomorrow
Summary: I really don't know how to write a summary without spoilers for this one. There are spoilers in the story; so be forewarned. It's about the search for the one left behind.
1. In Memory

This is a story based on the game Final Fantasy IX, and if you have any problems with love ^^ or a bit of blood, don't read on. It may or may not be a tearjerker. it depends who you are. Normally I don't write introductory paragraphs, but there is only one purpose of it this time. Anything within the {{}} is in the past, and anything in italics is written in a letter. Well anyways, enjoy!  
  
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Had it ever rained this hard? As the girl stood there, the rain hadn't even begun to bother her. She barely noticed the rolling thunder and the rain dripping down her face. She was drenched from head to two, but still took no notice.  
  
She had been sad for so long it seemed, maybe it was time to let go. To let go of the one she missed, forget that they had ever met. She slapped herself mentally for even thinking about forgetting him.  
  
The brunette looked towards the castle, her long gown now dirtied and sopping wet. Why was it that whenever she felt like crying, her feet always lead her here? Earlier that year her mother's gravesite broke her heart, but now the memories brought on by the flowers and mementos gave her some comfort.  
  
"Your majesty?" Beatrix spoke softly as she looked at the grieving princess. "Garnet. Look at me." Beatrix pulled her chin up so she could look the teen in the eyes. "They're going back tomorrow. We could go along, if you'd like that."  
  
Garnet looked at the ground. "I think I'd be too afraid of what we'd find. I wouldn't be able to bear it if. If we found them and they weren't. you know," Garnet broke off, unable to voice her concerns.  
  
It had been nearly a year since the final battle at the Lifa Tree. That day would always be fresh in her mind. That was the day that he had refused to leave, the day they waved goodbye and the day she watched him get smaller and smaller, until she could no longer see the smile on his face. It wasn't until that day that she realized and by that day it was far too late. She loved him, Zidane Tribal, and now she'd never see him again.  
  
Both Beatrix and Garnet were quiet for what seemed like forever, as Garnet played over the last moments that she saw him alive in her mind.  
  
{{The sun had begun the set as the comrades fled from the Lifa Tree. The airship was waiting on the ground, already prepared for their escape. The party ran towards it; Garnet running as fast as she could, with Zidane at her side.  
  
Suddenly he let go of her hand, dropped back, and then stopped completely. "Zidane! Come on, we have to go, NOW!" Garnet yelled at him frantically but still he didn't move.  
  
"He was just confused. I can't leave him here to die alone! I mean he's my 'brother' right? I just can't do it! I can't leave him here!" Dagger knew whom he was talking about. He was talking about Kuja, who they had just fought a few hours before. He was more or less Zidane's brother, seeing as they were in fact created by the same person and for the same purpose.  
  
"Zidane, are you insane? He attacked us! He tried to kill us. He's been putting us through so much Zidane! He's killed so many innocent people! He's mad, Zidane, and he's not worth losing your life over!," Steiner yelled frantically at him, "you're losing your mind!"  
  
"No, I think I'm thinking clearly. Truth is, him and me aren't so different. I guess if I were in his position, I would." Zidane took a short pause and hesitated slightly. "Well I can't really say that I'd do things all that differently." He spoke softly, staring at the ground.  
  
"You're better than that Zidane! You wouldn't kill innocent people!" Eiko looked as though she was about to cry.  
  
"He was lied to. I understand what it must've been like for him because we're sort of in the same situation, right? You know, finding out that he was a tool being used in some big scheme. I mean his life lost all meaning, he was alone, and his days were numbered. Think about that, and put yourself in his shoes."  
  
"Come home with us. Please, Zidane," Vivi looked pleadingly at Zidane.  
  
"Not this time, Vivi. I'll see you guys again, right?" Zidane's mouth drew up into his characteristic grin.  
  
Dagger just stood there, a numb look on her face.}}  
  
She now regretted that silence, wishing she had said something, anything to tell him that she cared. For some strange reasons the words never came, and the actions were never shown. Nothing at all came out.  
  
{{They boarded the airship quickly, knowing that it was time to escape. As the engines roared and the ship slowly left the ground, the party leaned over the railing yelling farewells to Zidane as he waved from the grounds. Their voices fell on deaf ears; they were completely drowned out by the roar of the airship engine, but their hearts were in it all the same. Garnet stared sadly down at the blond haired boy who had promised to kidnap her; changing her into who she now was. The happy, easy-going, down-to- earth Garnet (well rather Dagger, as she was called by him) was non- existent for the longest time. He returned her sad stare, nodding a silent understanding in her direction. She reluctantly nodded back, as the ship soared farther up, he turned to walk back to the Lifa Tree, back to Hell.}}  
  
A week ago some of the party had gone to the Lifa Tree to find him, but came back with nothing. The tree had still been active, and they were unable to get inside. They had decided it best to try again, but Garnet still didn't feel comfortable going. She was afraid of what they might find.  
  
"Queen Garnet. So you don't want to go?"  
  
Memories continued to flow into Garnet's mind as she maintained her silence. In the battle between mind and heart, her heart came out victor. If all else fails, follow your heart, she thought. "I want to go. I can't help but hope he's still alive. We just have to hope right? Sometimes hope is all we have." At these words Garnet's gaze fell upon her mother's tombstone.  
  
Beatrix smiled warmly and nodded, placing a comforting hand on Garnet's shoulder. "We leave at dawn, I'll come and get you slightly before. If you need help packing, don't hesitate to call me, alright your majesty?"  
  
Garnet nodded and fell back into her quiet thought. "Would you mind if.If I had some more time alone?" She didn't mean to sound rude, but she needed to think some things over.  
  
"Of course, your majesty," she replied, bowing respectively.  
  
Garnet set her gaze upon Alexandria Castle and she settled into the solitude and the warmth of the shrubberies about her.  
  
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That's right! I said shrubberies. Bet you weren't expecting that, eh? Anyways, this story is really precious to me. Updates should be closer together, because I already have almost 50 pages written (it's not done yet), so it's all just a matter of typing it up. So far I've only typed up 4 pages, so there's a lot more to come ^^ Please leave me reviews, because we all know how much I like those! 


	2. At First Glance

Here's chapter two :) As usual, I own no part of Final Fantasy IX, it all belongs to Squaresoft (rather, SquareEnix). Well enjoy, and don't forget to leave me reviews. They help me improve :)  
  
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The night was restless for Garnet, and she couldn't help wondering. Would tomorrow come and go without her knowing what happened to him? Only another week and he would be legally considered dead. He would receive a formal service and an empty grave in his memory. Garnet couldn't bear the though of giving up hope, or having to say goodbye. forever. No matter how little hope there was, she had always had a little voice inside her mind, telling her that it wasn't over, that he was on his way home.  
  
The morning felt like it took forever to come, and then finally a loud knock sounded on the oak door of Garnet's chamber. "It's time your majesty! Do you need assistance in packing your things?" Beatrix's clear voice echoed in the hall outside her chamber.  
  
"No, I can pack on my own. Thanks you very much for the offer; I believe I can manage," replied Garnet as she grabbed her brush from her bedside and ran it through her now shoulder-length hair. The day she cut it seemed so long ago. He was there, nodding approvingly at her. He believed in her. She carefully pulled her orange outfit on and packed some materials in her small duffle bag. After a few minutes of washing up, she grabbed the bag and strode out into the hallway, where Beatrix was waiting patiently.  
  
"Shall we?" Beatrix asked respectfully.  
  
"I think so," replied Garnet as she smiled.  
  
Downstairs, Vivi, Steiner, Eiko, Freya, Quina and even Amarant had begun loading the ship with all the things they would need on their journey. Garnet could hear them chatting quietly, but still she could sense that the entire group was dreading what they may or may not find on their trip to the Iifa Tree. The first time they had gone the tree was still very active and tried to attack them at every chance it got. Of course this made exploration impossible. Now there were reports that the tree had fallen inactive, and just suddenly stopped moving. It sounded suspicious to Garnet, but if they even had a chance of finding Zidane, she would take it.  
  
"Hey Garnet!" Vivi ran over to Garnet, smiling broadly. She waved in reply as Steiner marched over towards her, removing the duffle bag from her grasp, carrying it back to the ship.  
  
"I think I can manage, Steiner! But I thank you for the offer." Garnet reached in the direction of the duffle bag, but Steiner pulled the bag from her reach.  
  
"I insist your highness." Steiner continued towards the ship as Garnet sighed. He still treats me like a child, she thought. She decided to let him carry it, since she didn't feel like getting into an argument this early in the morning. Instead she headed on board the ship, and chose a spot to sit for the journey. It was a pleasant little spot near the stern where she could see over the rail and below the ship. It was sheltered from the wind, so it would be an ideal place to wait out the trip. It would take 2 days to reach the Iifa Tree, and it wouldn't be a happy trip. Everyone had fake smiles spread across their faces, but Garnet knew they were upset by the cheerless look in each set of eyes.  
  
Once the ship had left the ground, Vivi attempted to start conversation as a way to heighten morale, but the conversation broke off into uncomfortable silences in a short time. Everyone had far too much to think about.  
  
"So. What do you guys think we'll find?" Vivi broke the silence with one of the many questions that had frightening answers. The group all stared at the wooden planks beneath them, not really wanting to make eye contact.  
  
"I know what were hoping to find. Does that count?" Eiko was the first to answer. Garnet respected her optimistic outlook on things, it was nice to see someone else was hopeful.  
  
"I don't think we'll find anything, and if we do it'll be bad. No new is good news. I don't want him to be dead or anything, but just don't get your hopes up. He went into a literal hell and has been gone a year. Don't you think he would've made it home if he had survived? That tree was out to get him and Kuja too. I don't think either of them made it, as sad as that is, it's the truth. Don't be naïve and think 'Everything'll be fine because we have hope.' Hope doesn't kill people, but hope doesn't save 'em either." Amarant put the situation bluntly, as usual, angering the group a great deal. Particularly Eiko.  
  
"What do you know!? We'll find him! You'll see." Eiko was sniffing as she yelled. Eiko soon after broke down into sobs; obviously overwhelmed. Garnet ran up beside her to comfort the small girl.  
  
"Whatever. Face the facts people. You can't expect fairy tale endings." Amarant turned to walk away as he was speaking, but not before Garnet made her voice heard.  
  
"Why do you have to be so cruel!? Do you even have a heart? This is extremely hard for all of us, can't you see that!? Just because you don't care about him, doesn't mean you have to upset everyone else with pessimistic attitude! Think about others for a change!"  
  
"Looks like the princess has a thing for the thief. He's gone Dagger! Gone!" Dagger. It had been a while since anyone had called her that. Zidane was the last person to call her that when they were inside the Iifa Tree. It can't be true! Her thoughts turned from anger to sadness, as she was unsure of what to say.  
  
"We all care about him, Amarant. Don't single Dagger out! I think you couldn't be more wrong about what's going to happen. B-but you have your own opinion and I have mine. Say what you want to say, but don't take away our hope. It's keeping us going!"  
  
"Vivi." Tears formed in Garnet's eyes as she listened to Vivi's words. He had grown up so much since they had first met.  
  
"Sure kid. Whatever you say." With this Amarant left; heading towards the airship cabins.  
  
"Amarant just stubborn. He like Zidane, just upset." Quina decided it high time to that s/he put in his/her two cents.  
  
"Quina's right. He didn't mean anything by it. He does care, but you know him. He has trouble with these types of things; he's far to stoic," Beatrix tried to justify Amarant's words.  
  
What if he was right? What if Zidane were 'gone' and she never saw him again? Could he be.? No. He's alive, and we'll find him. He's coming home with us, and he'll never be pronounced dead. He just can't be gone, he just can't be! Garnet was troubled by these thoughts for the entire trip. Her mind was cleared only when the top of the Iifa tree could be seen over the rail of the ship. At least it was still there.  
  
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*tear* So sad, yes? It's a little cheesy, but I really enjoyed reading it. The more reviews I receive, the quicker I get off my duff and update. Thanks for reading :) 


	3. Into Desperation

Wow… It certainly has been a while since I last updated this *_* Months. To make up for it, here's an extra long chapter! XD Not that that really makes up for anything at all… You know the deal about copyrights, right? Good.  
  


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It was a horrible sight. The entire tree looked as though it had used every bit of strength it had to extend its vines towards something near the base of the tree. Why would it do that? Exactly what was it after at the base? The entire tree had been petrified, much like the trees in the Evil Forest had been in the beginning of their journey so long ago. Maybe Zidane had been petrified… Then the Supersoft could cure him! It would be so simple, and then he'd be back. In her heart Garnet knew that that would be far too easy, far too unreal. That may have been the outcome in a world of perfection, but not here. Not here on their continent, maybe not even anywhere on this entire planet.   
  
Steiner approached her slowly, "your Majesty, we're here…"   
  
"I know Steiner, I'm ready… Or at least I think I am…" Garnet allowed him to help her up and then headed off in the direction of the tree. They left the ship in a hurry, eager to be on solid ground once again. The tree looked much larger at this range, and the ground around it was dark and cold, like the life had been taken from it in a cruel way. The entire scene set before was not one that was particularly inviting. Garnet looked to the faces of her friends and noticed that both Vivi and Eiko looked severely shaken by this whole visage… Even Steiner and Beatrix seemed to be bothered deeply by it.   
  
"Come now everyone… Let's bring him home!" Steiner broke the silence as he struck a 'heroic' pose. He looked more comical than anything else, but everyone cheered joyously in agreement despite the humorous facade. The group marched behind him, still much in fear and doubt.   
  
The inside of the tree was even less inviting than the outside of it was. The cold and dark corridors offered the party no comfort. The inside of the tree had changed immensely; since the mist had cleared there were no longer many monsters anywhere, and here seemed to be no exception. There was not a monster to be seen in this place, there was absolutely nothing to disturb the eerie peace that seemed to be haunting this place since they were last here.   
  
As the group went into the corridors, they noticed that each chamber was darker and deeper than the last, and if it weren't for the small fires Vivi had lit by each door, they could have been lost in the cavernous place forever. Each person also had his or her own torch (these two were also compliments of Vivi's spectacular talents). It was strange to see that the chambers were 'in tact', if you disregarded the vines that had invaded most of the rooms.   
  
The air got very stale as the group worked their way to the center of the Iifa Tree, and soon they arrived at the chamber in the center of the tree. A sense of panic came over Garnet as she peered into the room before her, illuminated by the torches held by the companions. Vines had driven themselves into the ground, almost as if they were pursuing something that had at one time been there. The torchlight set bizarre shadows around the room, making it even more chilling as they entered it for further inspection. Garnet couldn't take her eye off of the vines in the center of the room. There was something about them that was different from all the other attacking vines in the tree. Whatever the vines were after was in this room; she knew it. After staring at the vines for a long period of time, she realized exactly why these frightened her so much at first glance. In the torchlight she saw a glint of red flashing on the vines, each one stained a deep red color. These colors were not natural, and she knew exactly what had done this to them. These vines had found whom they wanted to attack… And they must have succeeded. The vines were stained with the deep colors of blood and it ran far up and down each vine. They had found their target… And by the looks of things, they had triumphed over him.   
  
I appeared that Garnet was not the only one to notice the deep red that covered the bottoms of the vines. Vivi was looking to the floor, shaking his head and Eiko had started crying quietly beside her. Beatrix looked to Garnet sadly, almost as if she were expecting some explosive reaction that she had thought had been inside of Garnet all along. Steiner had begun to walk towards the scene, unable to believe what he was seeing before him.   
  
"No…" Garnet was the first to speak, her voice sounding hollow, bouncing off the walls of the room. "It can't be!" The princess backed away from her friends, shaking her head frantically.   
  
"Your Majesty…" Beatrix approached her slowly, as she watched Garnet's tears fall silently to the ground.   
  
"He's not here!" Steiner's voice broke the tense atmosphere slightly. "It may not have been him! Wait…" Steiner's voice broke off suddenly.   
  
"What is it Steiner?" Beatrix yelled skeptically.   
  
"There's a trail of…" he broke off choking on his own words. "Whoever was hurt tried to leave! This trail might lead to whoever was hurt!" His steps could be heard going in the other direction.   
  
"Come on now, Dagger! Don't cry, I mean we don't know much yet, right?" Vivi ran to help her up as he spoke.   
  
"Right, let's find him… No matter what." Garnet smiled through tears while Beatrix gripped her other arm to help her up.   
  
Soon the group had caught up with Steiner and all seven of the companions were now bounding down the long corridor following a grim trail, one that they dreaded what they would find at the end. Garnet couldn't help thinking… What if it wasn't him? What if he was perfectly safe somewhere right now, living his life. She decided to only concentrate on following the trail for now, as the only way she would ever know if he was safe or not would be if she let time tell.   
  
The chambers continued on for what seemed like an eternity, each getting lighter as they traveled further and further away from the center of the tree. Each step brought them closer to the outside world. The trail never did lead them there… It seemed to just cut off sometime before the entrance to the Iifa Tree.   
  
"That's it… It was for nothing." Garnet's feet were receiving the piercing stare of a lifetime as she glared at the ground. She quickly shut her eyes, trying to keep fresh tears from emerging.   
  
It was silent for a long time after; everyone had chosen a little spot to sit where they could rest and gather together all the thought they had floating around in their heads. The silence was eerie, until it was broken by a very unusual noise. Through the darkness the companions heard a strange fluttering noise, much like the noise you hear when a rather large bird is nearby. The next noise made it incredibly easy to identify the creature in the darkness as the companions heard a whispered 'kupo' sound in the cavern.   
  
Everyone looked up at the same time, but Eiko was the first to react. "Who's there? Don't be scared, we won't hurt you. Come on," she said in a small whisper.   
  
The small pink moogle pulled herself out from behind one of the large petrified vines that had fallen over due to its weight.   
  
"What's your name, little friend?" Garnet knelt down so that she could communicate more effectively with the small moogle.   
  
"Mognissa, kupo." The moogle shook as she spoke.   
  
"It's nice to meet you, Mognissa. I'm Garnet, but my friend sometimes call me Dagger. These are my friends, meet Vivi, Steiner, Amarant, Freya, Eiko, Quina, and Beatrix. Don't be scared little one. No one here will hurt you," she smiled as she spoke. The moogle looked considerably more comfortable after the introductions.   
  
"Do you know anything about what happened here, Mognissa?" Freya knelt down beside Garnet, trying to rush the situation a long.   
  
"He was hurt… Bad, kupo. The tree attacked them, it did. It's an evil tree. No one could help him…" It was obvious that the moogle had been through quite a traumatic ordeal. She spoke very quickly and her gaze hardly left the ground.   
  
"Who?" Vivi had stepped forward.   
  
"He was already dead… The blonde-haired boy tried to get him out, but he was hurt bad too. The tree tried to kill him, it did."   
  
"… It didn't kill the blonde man, did it?" Dagger's voice was very shaken.   
  
"I don't know… They took him…"   
  
"Who took him? Where did they take him!?" Amarant's tone was annoyed, but no one could really understand why. He hadn't cared in the least earlier.   
  
"Relax, Amarant… Don't scare her," scolded Beatrix sternly.   
  
"I didn't see his face… But he was pretty big. He had friends, kupo. The blonde man had just collapsed and I was going to go help him, but the strangers beat me to him. The big man had five friends with him, but I didn't hear what they said to each other. They spoke in really hushed tones… They picked him up and carried him with them, but the other one…" The moogle glanced out the opening as she paused, "they buried him in the field.   
  
"I see… About the other man… How sever were his injuries? Could one survive such?" Steiner looked a little more optimistic concerning Zidane's well-being. At least someone had come to his aid. Hopefully that was the strangers intention.   
  
The moogle looked down at her feet again, feeling uncomfortable with all of the sets of eyes focused on her small frame. "It was bad… I don't think he could breathe. He left a message where the tree attacked him, I saw him pin it to the vine before it petrified. It might be petrified too, kupo. It might have been a kind of farewell. I think he thought he was going to die…"   
  
"A note? Should we find it?" spoke Quina quietly, something very uncharacteristic for the Qu, "maybe Zidane left directions! Maybe he find yummies…"   
  
Garnet shook her head. "I don't know about the yummies, Quina, but I think it'd be a good idea to look for that note." Garnet rose and turned from the exit. "Come on you guys." She started to walk back into the darkness of the center. The others trailed her reluctantly, hope glimmering faintly for hope of what news Zidane's note would bring.   
  
The cavern was even more dark and lonely on the trip back. The optimistic mood, however fake it might have been, had now faded and left the part with only a growing sense of dread that only grew with each step they took further into the darkness.   
  
Garnet tried to keep her gaze ahead of her; as she didn't want to look at the blood soaked ground on which she walked. The smell of it hung in the air, making Garnet lose the awareness of many of her senses. The thought of the pain he must have suffered… It broke her heart.   
  
He had always done what he could to protect her, and now there was nothing she could do to save him.   
  
The sound of dripping water could now be heard. "It must have started raining," said Vivi, shivering in the damp cavern while struggling to keep up with Garnet's quick pace. Rain. It seemed that rain had been more common since the day they fought in the Iifa. Maybe it was just the princess' imagination, but the last year had been damp, lonely and tired, the weather changing to fit her mood.   
  
"Well, we're here. Mognissa, where did he leave the note?" Freya broke the silence as they entered the central chamber.   
  
"Over here, kupo." The little moogle picked herself up off of the ground and fluttered to where the note must've been. "He left it here after he pulled the vines out of himself, kupo. They were what hurt him…" Garnet felt he heart wrench as the moogle described how Zidane was injured. She tried to bloack it from her mind, with little success. The moogle disappeared momentarily, returning with a torn piece of parchment. "It wasn't petrified! KUPO!" The little moogle seemed slightly excited. Mognissa carefully handed the delicate piece of parchment to Garnet.   
  
The parchment was also stained with blood and seemed to have a fairly lengthy message crudely written with a piece of charcoal. Garnet did her best to read it a loud as she choked back tears.   
  
_Hey guys,   
  
I'm not sure if you'll read this or anything, but just in case you come looking for me or something, I thought it might be a good idea to explain a bit about what happened and to let you know that I survived the Iifa Tree's attack… With some minor injuries, of course…Anyways, Kuja was here in the center of the tree when I found him… But just before the tree attacked… I lost him. Then the vines came. I'm hurt and that, but I'm alive and that's all that really matters. I'm going to do what I can to get Kuja out of here, and I'm going to do everything I can to make it back to see all of you. In case my little plan doesn't carry out, I'll just say my piece to each of you. Listen good, guys!   
  
Vivi - You're one of those great friends people always remember, and you're always there to help out… Even when you do want to run away screaming. Keep going little buddy! You've gotten this far; you must be doing something right.   
  
Freya - Knowing you for years has really had an influence on me. Good or bad, I'm not really sure. In any case, you're one the strongest and most determined person I've ever met… And damned persistent too! You'll find what you're looking for… Just don't ever give up.   
  
Steiner - Well, Rusty, things started off rough between you and me, but I have to say I trust you to watch my back. You may be hardheaded and stubborn, but I know in the end… You'll take care of everyone.   
  
Quina - You'll keep everyone well fed right, Quina? You're a strong one, and just 'cause not everyone sees it, doesn't mean it's not there. I've seen it, I should know.   
  
Eiko - You'll be a great summoner one day, Eiko. That I know for a fact. I know that I can trust you to take care of people and grow up to be the best person you can possibly be. Hell, you're more mature than I am most of the time!   
  
Amarant - We've definitely had our differences. I say up, you say down. I say black, you say white…But still the two of us have a lot in common in the way we live our lives. You'll do fine, just don't get caught. Seriously. The last thing I want to have to do is break your butt out of prison.   
  
Tantalus - You guys are my family, and I'd trust you with my life. I probably wouldn't be around if it wasn't for all of you. You're my brothers (and sister) and you guys know I suck at all this sappy stuff so…Thanks.   
  
Dagger - Last but certainly not least… Thank you… You helped me be a better person; I changed a lot for the better because of you. You know how much I care about you, and I just wish things were different so we could see where that could go. Well Princess, I want you to know that you'll make a great queen someday… You can do whatever you put your mind too. That's one of the many things I love about you. Take care, and I'm sorry that I've never been the kind of friend you deserve, but I think the only people that deserve your friendship are the people that you're with now… Be strong, OK? You have a whole country to take care of.   
  
There's a good chance that this letter will be all pointless and stuff cause we'll all meet again soon… I have faith in that. See you all soon, and don't you dare forget about me! Soon, OK?   
  
Zidane_   
  
"It sounded like a goodbye…" Beatrix whispered, her face solemn. It was a useless comment because pretty much everyone had understood the meaning of the letter. Though Zidane had tried to put a happy face on everything he said… He really did make it sound like he wasn't coming back. It did sound like a goodbye. He was never that serious, and he wouldn't have written a long letter if he truly believed they'd see each other again.   
  
Dagger looked at the letter again as tears rolled down her face. He had cared about her! Now it was too late… Beatrix approached the princess and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. Garnet had felt like such a crybaby as of late… No wonder everyone treated her like she was made of glass. She would break down at any mention of pain, any mention of being alone… She was tired of crying. She was tired of being made of glass. Looking around the room made the feeling even worse, because she noticed that she was crying when she should be helping her friends. She wasn't the only one feeling pain. She watched as Eiko sobbed, Quina at her side. Vivi sat on the ground, his hat tipped over his eyes and face, hiding whatever expression he had. Steiner kneeled beside the young black mage, doing what he could to comfort him.   
  
"He'll make it… I know he's OK…" Garnet wiped the tears off of her pale face and did her best to hold her chin high as she spoke. "Come on you guys, let's go home," she sniffed, "he may already be there… Waiting for us!" Garnet turned away and headed for the exit. "Let's go…"   
  
The others all looked at each other, and some sighed. She had such high hopes, despite the depression caused by the letter. She wouldn't give up; she was in denial.   
  
The trip back was harder to bear than anything. The splendor of the twinkling stars against the navy blue sky was not enough to brighten the mood. No matter how vivid the stars were as they illuminated the deck of the airship, they could not bring comfort to its crew.   
  
The entire party was sitting in the bow of the airship, all but Garnet who was standing alone at the stern. So many thoughts were going through her mind as she watched the ocean beneath the boat as they flew over top of it. They waves were tiny, with very little wind to move them. Other than that, the night was almost completely silent.   
  
He was coming home… He had to, he wouldn't lie. He said he'd see them again… Garnet sighed heavily and took out her pendant that she had hidden beneath her shirt. It gleamed slightly in the starlight as tears started to stream down her face. Though outwardly she seemed hopeful, inside that letter had broken down what little hope remained in her heart. If Zidane was coming home, the letter would've been vague and brief… It just wasn't like him to write such a letter, especially one so serious.   
  
Two more days… Garnet leaned upon the railing of the ship. Her tears continued to flow some dropping onto the deck and others dropping onto her shirt and her pendant. Only one fell from her face and dropped into the ocean far beneath the ship into the stunning sea below. Deep inside, Dagger felt as though she had about as much chance of finding Zidane in Gaia as she did of finding that tear in the ocean.   
  
She thought grimly about going after that tear; jumping over the steel railing to find it, deep below the cerulean surface of the water. She clutched the railing thoughtfully, until her knuckles had turned white from the pressure. "No…," she whispered, pulling her vicegrip from the railing and turning away. Zidane believed in her. Alexandria believed in her. Quina, Eiko, Steiner, Beatrix, Freya and even Amarant believed in her… She couldn't let them down. She tucked the pendant back into her shirt and looked up to the bright starry sky.   
  
A shooting star streaked across it, lighting the water below more brightly than Garnet had ever seen at this time of night; even by moonlight. "I wish…" whispered Garnet, clutching the pendant beneath her shirt again. It had sort of become a comfort item for her… Which was strange because of all the pain it had caused her earlier last year.   
  
They had already spent a total of four days on the journey and at the Iifa tree itself, and there would still be two more to pass before she was home in Alexandria.   
  
"Dagger…" Eiko appeared carrying a small candle. "We're lighting candles and Beatrix is using her magic to make them float… It looks really pretty." Eiko looked noticeably happier with the flickering candle light illuminating her round face. Eiko carefully handed Garnet a small candle. "Come on… It'll cheer you up." Garnet nodded solemnly and took the candle. Eiko grabbed Garnet's free hand with her own and headed for the bow of the ship.   
  
The scene was warm and comforting, like a surreal dream that Garnet never wanted to wake from. Her friends looked happy, watching the tiny lights twinkling behind the ship as it tore through the air. The lights were small in numbers, but it almost seemed as though they engulfed the night sky. They were nearly the same hue as the twinkling stars; maybe more orange than the yellow-white stars in the sky. Vivi was lighting the candles with a very mild fire spell, and Beatrix was waving her sword casting the float spell.   
  
The beautiful night was more soothing to Garnet now, but still a tear feel down her cheek. She was tired of crying. She wiped the tear away and forced her own realization…   
  
Zidane was not coming home.   
  


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Wow, that's three times longer than usual! Yeah, I know that really doesn't make up for the months of updates I should have been doing but didn't. I hope Zidane was in character *_* Ah well. Read and review… And all the mumbo-jumbo :) 22 pages down, 36 to go! X_x 


	4. Going Home

Yeah, I didn't know I still existed either. I'm replaying Final Fantasy IX and missed posting this story, so voila! Enjoy.

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That night, Garnet settled into yet another unpleasant sleep, her dreams haunted by his fading smile and relaxed speech. As the night faded to morning, the haunting visions also faded as wakefulness took the young queen.

The light flooded into the small cabin in the airship in which the brunette slept as she cautiously open her eyes. The moment she did, she instantly regretted it and clenched them set again, shielding her sensitive eyes from the early morning light. The engines still roared in the heart of the airship, quieter than they had been on the previous day but still booming, as engines tend to do. The crew must've been working through the night to make the airship run as smoothly as it was now.

The small girl pulled herself up from the protection of the covers lying around her and put her feet on the wood floor, her body still stiff with sleep. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the warm rays of the sun that entered through the small window, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she shuffled her feet along the floor. Why was it that she hardly felt like even getting up anymore? Eiko was still sleeping soundly in the corner bunk, murmuring something that Garnet didn't understand. Pulling on her clothes, she thought it might be best to take a walk on the deck and see who else had risen early.

The deck was fairly quiet besides the sound of the engines; it didn't look like many if anyone was awake yet. Many extinguished candles were sitting by the rail, Beatrix and Vivi had grown tired after the event last night and had run out of the ethers they needed to revitalize their magic.

The young queen was staring fondly at the unlit candles, remembering the events of last night. She raised her gaze to the horizon, smiling to herself at what she saw… She could see land! The Mist Continent jutted out into the water, obstructing the beautiful blue horizon that they had been so accustomed to seeing for the last few days. The mist was now gone, and only a few lingering monsters loomed in the deepest of valleys, awaiting unexpected travelers that happened to pass through.

"Have you been up long?" Vivi's small voice broke through the silence of the morning.

"No… I just woke up, actually. What about you?" Garnet smiled fondly at the mage.

"You can't really say I got up… You have to go to sleep to get up. I just couldn't. Something's been nagging at me…" Garnet looked at him sympathetically, urging him to continue. She sat down beside him to give him her full attention. He smiled at her gesture, swallowing nervously as he worked up the courage to continue. He really needed to get everything off of his chest, but the last thing he wanted was to burden the young queen.

Reading his thoughts, she put her arm around her friend's shoulders. "Go on, Vivi. I want to know."

"W-who do you think… I-I mean… Mognissa said that some people took him. I mean Zidane, of course. Who do you think they were? Where do you think they took him? I'm so confused, but somehow I think it was better that we didn't find him at Iifa Tree… I really think he made it, you know? I mean… I really want to… You know?" Garnet looked at him blankly for a few minutes; at a loss for words. As timid as he was when he first started to speak, she had never expected him to gain confidence as he did. She had never heard Vivi speak that quickly or eagerly about something in all the time that she knew him. His tone, it was so hard to describe. He sounded almost… Desperate. It scared her a little. She struggled to reply, an uncomfortable silence looming around the two.

"Hope is good, Vivi…" she finally choked out, "you just can't aim too high. I want to believe too. I want to believe that he's safe but… Who knows who could've taken him from the tree? Or where they took him for that matter…" Garnet's eyes again blurred as she felt the tears welling up. She couldn't help thinking to herself that no matter where they took him…. She would rather be there. She would go to him in a heartbeat.

"Sorry Dagger. I didn't mean to make you sad… You've been sad enough lately. I'm so sorry…" Vivi turned to look into the young girl's eyes. "I don't want you to be sad anymore… It's just not fair. You deserve better. I-I'm sorry, Dagger…"

Garnet sighed heavily and look sadly at the black mage. "Don't apologize Vivi; this is no in way your fault… It's mine." Vivi looked a little taken back by her comment. "It's my fault because I'm not strong enough. I never really thought that I needed anyone else, not like this, and I thought that I could do everything on my own. The truth is… I was so wrong. I'm so completely dependant on you all for everything… If I was stronger… I'm the one who should be apologizing. Losing him just reminds me of how dependant I really am. I'm nothing without him here, and I'm even less than nothing without my friends to lean on…" Garnet pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her face as the tears fell silently down her face.

"I know how you feel about him, Dagger… You don't need to make excuses for taking this so hard. You've lost someone you love… We all saw it, and I know he did too. You're strong, Dagger and no one thinks any less of that strength now that he's not here beside you. If anyone in the world could make it through this, it would be you. You're not dependant, and if you are… I guess we all are. We've all leaned on each other since that day at the Iifa Tree. You shouldn't be sorry… You have no reason to." Garnet looked up at her friend and smiled half-heartedly. This Vivi didn't sound at all like the small black mage that her and Zidane had met while improvising a scene from 'I Want To Be You Canary' in front of all of Alexandria. She didn't think it was possible for someone to grow up and change so much… As the young queen smiled, the ship had crossed the shoreline and it was now hovering silently over the Mist continent.

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This was typed up a while ago, actually… I'm not really sure why I never posted it oO


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